I worked today. Started at 6.30 finished at 3.00. Our little hospital has been busy the last few weeks, we have had a full house for most of the time and the beds haven't been getting a chance to cool down before they are full again. There is a nice old man there at the moment who is very down and sad to see. Old age and the illness that accompanies it are very cruel to some poor people. How do you comfort a man who cries to you "I am 84 years old and bloody useless and I just want to die, I saved up all my tablets but the nurses took them away, so I didn't get to take them all." Do you lie and tell them everything will turn out alright when they know it won't. Do you sit and listen and be sympathetic? Do you try to ignore and disappear out the door?
I've got to know this man over the years he has been in and out of my workplace and he is always a lovely polite, courteous person (as much as anyone can be when they're struggling to breathe) whom I know is not in the easiest circumstances at home. He has told me about his life and personal history. I guess there wasn't really anything I could do. I tried to listen, adjusted his oxygen tubing and held his hand. Told him god wasn't ready for him yet. When people say to me of god "He's not going to help you" my answer is "Well people are dying to find out." I guess thats a bit flippant, that's the only way we do find out for sure and not many of us get to come back and tell people about it do they? Life is cruel for some people so maybe there is something better coming later on. Dunno. Maybe the saying "Life's a bitch and then you die" would fit in here. It is good to have work mates with whom I can share and compare notes with. I guess being flippant about some things that happen is a response to the saying "If you could not laugh you would cry." I s'pose i really do like my job in lots of ways and dwell on the idea that maybe I can help someone that needs it, even if it is not a job thats highly paid or takes a university degree to perform.
The weather here is still dry and is cooling down. It was in the mid 20's today. Nice sleeping weather, cool enough to snuggle up under the covers. I actually wore a cardigan for some of today. Almost cool enough in the evenings to go and buy a little electric heater to replace my old one that I threw away. Not cool enough for the wood heater yet. I am a sook in the cool weather and have the heaters on before everyone else gets cold. Pete feels the heat, I feel the cold.
On a brighter note. Isn't this beautiful. It is a picture of my newest great neice. She is learning about new tastes and really enjoys pumpkin. Her name is Ivory and she was born last September. The second one is discovering easter eggs.
I was going through old photos last week and found lots of happy memories in them. Lots of beautiful happy kids with laughing faces. I couldn't have been such a bad mother after all. We had lots of good times along the way. When your'e down you mostly think of the not so good times and forget about the good bits. My kids short comings can't all be my fault after all!
O.K. thats enough for today. Bye Love Linda.