Sunday Scribblings, "Aging"

Elizabeth

Tree spirit.

G'Day,
I have just had the best three days I have had for a long time. On Friday night Peter and I went to a concert to see Russel Morris and Brian Cadd. Two great old Aussie rockers from the seventies. Russel used to have thin, straight , long blond hair which has been replaced by...none. He is completely bald headed. Brian always had a head full of silky light brown hair with a beard to match, his hair and beard now days is pure white, but still long and silky. So, as you could imagine, amongst a crowd of similar aged people to myself, there were lots of hair jokes, and age jokes. These guys faces and bodies are ageing but all of their talent is still there. Well ... I thought we both had a wonderful time.
I spent this Saturday and Sunday with the Potter's club in Wagga at a 2 day workshop tutored by a Beechworth potter Judy Pierce. I haven't made sculpted faces before. Everybody made their own style of things. I made my Elizabeth bust and also a second one. I had the idea of one of those giant red river gums that you see by the river which are hundreds of years old. I made a tree but with a spirit mask enclosed within its branches. They just have to survive the drying firing and transporting processes first.
I also had lunch on Saturday with a couple of girlfriends and went out for tea with the potters after the Saturday part of the workshop.
I had a sense of forboding all the way home tonight coming back here and finding out..... Even though I thought we were going to be o.k.
I just came home and got a phone call from Peter and I asked him if he had been in contact with Sharon, the woman we have had this crisis in our marriage over, and he told me no but that he was expecting her to call him for his birthday tomorrow. I said well you better make up your mind because I will not wait around and asked if he was sure what he wanted to do and he said "I don't know, I am 99 percent sure but I don't know". So now I am back in the pit again. Oh Fuck!
Talking to people over the weekend who have been through this ordeal has convinced me that I am not just being paranoid and am justified to feel the way I do about this situation. They have in fact been surprised that I have come back at all after hearing our story.
Is this bastard trying to convince me to leave so he has an easy way out?
Maybe. Probably. It is sure looking like that.
I can't believe that I have been so encouraging to him, using my body and my heart to win him, the way I have been for the last week and trying so bloody hard to overcome my pain and in the process sacrificing more of myself and my dignity.
So dears!
To tie this in with the prompt.
Yep aging.
That is when you have a husband going through a big mid life crisis who may or may not choose to stay with you after you have given him your whole life, for the taste of a younger woman, who has already proven that she is an unfaithful lover to others. If he goes to her, she will very shortly be doing the same thing to him as he is doing to me right now. Poetic justice for the bastard.
I am angry and stressed and broken all over again, I don't know if I am strong enough to leave for good, although I know that I should, and it is the right thing to do right now, as so many women before me have chosen to do in my situation. I am so scared of what my future will bring. I want a crystal ball to tell me what to do. I am so scared.
I know a factor in this is that she has found a lump in her breast and is told it is cancer. Peter's twin sister died of breast cancer when she was just 28 leaving 3 small children behind. He has always had big issues with cancer and is terrified of getting it himself. He has spent the past 20 years working voluntarily with a charity who raises money for its victim's treatment. Her birthday is the day after his, giving Sharon and he the twin link, and I am sure that he associates her with his sister whom he has never gotten over losing. His other sister Maureen said the same thing to me when I last spoke to her on the phone a few days ago.
I am sitting up again tonight. I went to bed a few hours ago but could not sleep. I am trying to keep busy in here.
Love Linda.

G'Day,
It is Thursday night. I have been improving and then sliding backwards again all week. When I am outside and busy and talking to people I feel fine, then when I am alone or at night, my mind runs away with me and I am torturing myself again. I don't know if this is real, I don't know if it is my fault or if what has happened is ever going to set me free. I am not a danger to myself anymore, I do know that much.
At the moment I can't believe he was ready to throw away all of our family and future and past for this silly woman. She now says that there was nothing but friendship between them, which is obviously less than my husband was hoping for, even though he says he loves me and wants me, and I know that she lies when she said that because she has been actively pursuing and encouraging him with my knowledge for a long long time. She says I am pathetic and it is my fault. She is playing games with her ego and told me that she has many prospects other than my husband to follow up on, well, that just reinforces my opinion of her, I wonder how many of those are married too. She really is a piece of work and he was ready to give me up for a possibility of a fling with her. Anyway she has withdrawn from the situation, if I can believe her, and my husband is now feeling like a fool for what has gone on. A big factor in this is that people in Junee that knew them are talking about what has happened between them and what it has done to me, well I am sorry for you dearie but did you really expect me to not need to talk with my friends when I was going crazy and they were all I thought I had left. She obviously thinks more of her image than she does of my husband.
I want him and I want our future still. God help me I don't know why. Maybe I am too dependent.
I go from angry, to sad,to determined, to seductive (yes I can still spice things up, I am not that old yet), to scared, to insecure torture of myself and him, then back and forwards again between all of those things. Last night I had a night mare about the two of them and in my dream I bashed his head in. I have never dreamed about being violent before. I sat up in front of the T.V. until dawn to try to not think about that dream.
Bonus though, I have lost about 7 or 8 kg throughout the last three weeks. But that does include some results from the acid/alkaline diet I was trying to test out at the start of this, probably 3kg of it. That has gone by the wayside though, now I just can't eat much before feeling sick and also, I am trying to continue the weight loss thing anyway.
I am not over this and I don't know how long it will take, but I know what I want and am willing to try to get it back. He says that it is what he wants too and it me that he will stay with. I dunno, I dunno....
I nearly lost my job over this when I ran away from here during the night and left my boss in the lurch. I have never in my life been sacked from a job, but I think that was pretty close. I still have my job, but with reduced hours. Fair enough I guess, but I still have a job.
When I think about the things that have happened during my life and the people who have shit on me (including my own family) I must be such an idiot. If I haven't got a big L for loser tatooed on my forehead I think I must have a big V for victim. Or a big K pinned on my back, for kick me when I am down.
I hope I can sleep tonight.
He is trying his best to be supportive and good to me and reinforce that he loves me, at the moment but I just don't know if it is for real and I can believe him.
Anyway I am back.For better or worse is yet to be seen.But I am back.
That is all for now.
love Linda.

Sunday Scribblings "Where did you come from"

Well G'Day,
I am back after much turmoil and suffering over the last week and bit, but I am back. I want to do everything in my power to fix this.I pray it is what I think it is and is worth th ework that will be involved. I spent yesterday in my car traveling and overnight at The Bay in a caravan park unit. I walked for hours along the little crescent of sandy beach at the van park and had a terrible night. Awaiting a phone call that I sat up and sent messages for about 3 hours, until Pete finished work in the morning to find them. Morning bought some clarity and I am trying to fix this, with conditions, of course. I have been so up, down, crazy and agonized by this situation and have laid down my cards.
Anyway the Sunday Scribblings prompt.

I am from the muddy Murrumbidgee where the water meets the clay bank.
I am from the shore where the water meets the sands.
I am from the silent creek beds in the forrest where the earth holds back the water.
I am Australian
I am from the earth.
I will return to the earth.
But not yet.....

********************************

Yesterday and last night as I walked the shores of the Bay this is what I thought of and went back to the unit where I was staying to write this down. Not with the thought of putting it here on my blog but just for myself because I need to get back to being my creative self which I have lost so much of lately but need to find again.
I liked the first one better than the second, because the second little poem, if I have the right to call it that, has something wrong with the last two lines. Comments appreciated please. I don't pretend to be a poet but sometimes these bits come from me.

First one is...

Silicates and Calcium Carbonate
All worn and broken down
Still existing
Homogenous
Together in the sands.

Second one is....

The Bay.

Brown, pink, red and green
And all shades in between
Strings of pearls, ribbons, leather and lace
From the gardens of the sea
Little plants with buoyed floats
Detritus collected there
Heal on heel, go for miles
Along the pale fine sand
Where the sea comes to land.

Other than that on my mind and in my heart is Elizabeth Brown, or Palmer whatever her title was. She has been walking beside me this past week. She is my great great grandmother and I feel that there is a special link between us. She was an aboriginal lady from near Grenfell, as far as I know, so that probably makes her a part of the Wiradjiri clan, I don't really know because I don't know enough of her story, her husband was 1st generation Aussie born from convict stock.. So that makes me 6Th generation on my Dad's side of the family but if you consider Elizabeth then possibly countless generations of my bloodline in this country.
I have been thinking about the horrors and agonies she must have suffered being part of Australian society well over a hundred years ago now. But she was a survivor by leading the life she had to and I have some of her Genes. Sort of fits the prompt this week eh? She had many children who where taken from her just because they were aboriginal and of mixed blood as part of what is known as the white Australia policy. I am the end result of that cruel and deliberate attempt by the govt of the day to remove all traces of the indigenous peoples of this country, by forbidding, slaughtering and removing the culture and deliberately breeding it out with white blood. The other mix within my blood comes mostly from my father's English ancestors, with a bit of Scots and Welsh thrown in on top from my mother's side. My aboriginal genes are but a small part of my make up .But sometimes I feel them strongly in my connectedness to the land. I spent a lot of time during last week in Wagga sitting by the Murrumbidgee river at Wiradjiri reserve. One of my special places. I have posted in here about this place before, but a long time ago now.
Next weekend I am going to Wagga to a workshop on masks and busts. I have thought of an idea using my imagined image of Elizabeth for the mask, but with her eyes closed and no mouth and gum leaves partially covering her face. Very symbolic. I have it in my mind. If I can make it work I guess a pic will eventually turn up here on my blog some time or other in the future.
That's all this post.
Love Linda.

Update.

G'Day,
I am back in Canberra. I came back last night because I thought well that is it, I will go and pack the rest of my clothes, the furniture has to come later, I have nowhere to put that yet.. Pete and I spent the night together last night, went to the pictures and saw slum dog millionaire. I love him but I am so scared to put myself up to be shit on again. Maybe we should not have been together last night but maybe there is some hope. There will have to be a big big change, on his part as well as mine. I know I am jealous and possessive of him. When a woman loves she wants every little part of that person, plus ,my parents marriage was also unfaithful on my fathers behalf so I know I have a lot of hang ups and insecurities because of that. I still don't think I have been unfair in wanting that. There are no jobs at Junee hosp at the moment but the girls want me back and are going to ring as soon as something is advertised.I have applied for a ward assistants job at Wagga hosp. and it is 78hrs per fortnight, so that is pretty good, If I can get that I will take it. It sounds pretty easy and nothing I could not handle nor have done before. There are a couple of others but those have less hrs , a patient transport driver and a sterilizing assistant, both good, but I would have to do courses and a bit of updating and learning to do them and I don't feel confident of that.
Peter has agreed to arrange counselling for us and I will travel back to Canberra for that if I can do so without damaging my chances at this job if I get it.
Peter's sister Maureen has been wonderful to me so has the lady at the women's health centre in Wagga. I am to see another person there on Monday. She saved my life when I had put all the plans in place to end it, I have been crazy. My Junee friends are there for me and so is my beloved birthday and potting buddy in Wagga, Kath. I have missed them all so much and need to be with them. Kath has rejoined me to the potters club in Wagga and there is a 2 day workshop next weekend, masks and busts. I am so looking forwards to that and I already know what I want to make for the mask part. In my head anyway.
I have had not one friend here in Canberra that I could talk to or fall back on, but I know that is my own fault too because friendships are something you have to pursue and spend time on and I have never been one to do that, even though I have had several chances of that here. I was too busy looking after Mum and Michael and Pete and home and pets and, and,,,,.
Anyway I am going back to Wagga today, or maybe extending and traveling a bit on the way back and spending a night somewhere along the way.
I will eventualy get back here to blog again, don't know when but it probably won't be regular because it will have to be on someone else's computer. There are lots more stories to tell here about the good and kind people who have helped me over the last week, the world is full of good people.
David my son has given me a mobile phone that I have been trying to desperately learn. It is wrapped in a sheet of paper with picture and written info that I wrote myself so that I could understand it. He he.I always refused to have one before but now it is becoming my lifeline.
Love Linda.

G'Day,
Just an update. I spent the afternoon in Canberra hospital after taking an overdose of Valium. I think I had about 10 or 12, not sure. The night before I took just two but the night before that I took eight. I didn't intend to suicide I just wanted to bomb myself out. Just after I took the tablets I got a phone call from one of my old workmates in Junee and told her what I had done and she talked to the sisters at the hospital there and Peter called an ambulance and I had to go in there. They said that the dose would not have been fatal but I needed help because I had taken it and also because of the self harming. Anyway, the Dr there took the rest of the tablets away and after checking everything sent me back home. My friends Linda and Sharon are coming to get me and take me back home to Junee. They should be here in an hour or so. I said I wanted to go home with them, Sharon will drive my car back there for me and I will be staying at Linda's house, probably for a few days. Then I might go to Wagga and stay in my Mums old house with my son David. They said that they are crying out for staff at Junee hospital at present so I will probably get a job similar to what I had there before. I know I am a good worker and have a good reputation with them there. But I also know that the wheels of bureaucracy turn very slowly with them where employment is concerned, so I will see what happens. Michael will stay on in Canberra, my suggestion, because I know that if he returns to Wagga or Junee again it will kill him and we will be back to square one with his depression and anxiety. I have spoken to Brett our boss here and Michael still has a job with him even though things will have to be adjusted somewhat. He has to get his drivers licence now, promising to go on monday morning.
Peter and I tried to talk in the early hours of this morning and he said that he loves me but he loves Sharon. Well for me it is 100 percent or nothing. If he can't give me that then I want nothing else. As well as that, after what has happened between us I know I will never be able to feel the same way again about him or trust him. I love him so much and I have never loved anyone else. But that is it for us.
It is my friend Leonies 50th birthday party on saturday night, I had accepted the invite but them cancelled it, I don't know if I can stand it at the monent.
Bye
Love Linda.

What's going on.

G'Day
I need to write. To try to sort out what is happening and work out in m own mind what is going on. Well I know what is going on.Yes I have dumped my husband.
H e is a habitual flirt and cheat, and has been ever since I knew him. He gets his jollies from making other women turn on to him and then absorbs the compliments and getting his ego stroked. He has done this to me so many times and the last time it happened I gave him an ultimatum, you will not do this again, make your choice now, you have no right to do this to me and I am too old to put up with it any more so I will go . Anyway he chose me.
He has been at it again.
Enter to the mix Sharon. A workmate of his that has been through 1marriage already and was about to embark on her second. Peter did his usual and played his games, she used to run up to him at work and plant a big kiss on him so that all of their other workmates were shocked and they would laugh about the reaction together. Peter used to come home and tell me about it and laugh, but do his usual spiel of nothings happening I have never slept with anyone else and you should feel so lucky that I am honest with you and bring it home to you instead of giving it away. He always said he was honest but never though of the pain and torture taht his honesty caused me an still kept flirting and looking for reasurance that he was atrractive and wanted ny other women. Sharon became engaged to Steve, another workmate but telling him that she would dump him the minute peter said yes. Steve became jealous because of someone else she had been seeing and became aggressive so she dumped him. Peter went to her aid, via phone, email and spent the day with her in wagga 2 weeks ago, under the guise to me that was going there to spend time with our other two children.. He made the decision for me and probably for himself there and then as far as I am concerned. Again he assured me on his return that nothing had happened. But then told me that when they touched there was electricity and he felt like a teenager again. This is the same woman who came into my own home under the guise of friendship and asked me did I mind her visiting Peter while he had been ill with depression and I said to her if he can talk to you that is o.k as long as he is talking to someone about it. What a fool I am. He really can not see what sort of person she is and says she has done no wrong and either has he. He still tells me he has done no wrong and can not see what she is, she deliberately set out to white ant my marriage.
Tonight I was weakening because I rang him from work to say that I was sorry I had been so cruel to him , because I had, and he was sobbing on the phone.. Then later I rang back and said if you give up Sharon I will think about doing some counseling with you and we will see how that goes but I am promising nothing. He has just come home from going out with the boys from work, from whom he had some sympathy and he still says he loves Sharon but he loves me more but that he does not think he can change. That is not good enough for me. It is either all or nothing. I have invested all of my life with this man, I have been with him since just before I was 18 now I am now nearly 50 years old and fat and ugly and no good to anyone. I have a job, with my sons help I can survive.
I am so angry I want to lash out and hurt him back. I threw the frypan at him and put it through the wall yesterday. I just told him I slept with someone else to do that but it was when I was 18 and had only just met him. So he has taken that on board and wants to use that against me to alleviate his guilt. He still thinks that being faithful means not actually doing the sexual intercourse act, but everything else is o.k.
Sharon and he have been sending emails and keeping in contact since we moved to Canberra. They call each other handsome and gorgeous and finish each note with I love you. Two nights ago I read an email from her to handsome saying, If I get this job I can come to Canberra to see more of you, and Linda won't like that but we are friends aren't we,. Well I saw red and sent a very nasty reply to her, After which peter told me I should not upset her. I was stunned and hurt that he had chosen to protect her over me and was putting her feelings before mine. That really hurt. Then later I read an email from him to her saying Sorry for Linda's hate mail, as you can guess we have had a fight and she has stormed out of the house at 3.00 in the morning and is driving somewhere.I replied to that one too saying that She could have him as I had had enough and did not want him back this time. But remember once a cheater always a cheater, but I guess you know all about that, don't you.
For the last 2 nights I have been terrible, the first night I spent in my car driving around. I came home after I thought he would have left for work but he was still here. I could not eat without feeling I was going to vomit, so i did not eat, and did not sleep for about 40 hours and then that was only because I drugged myself with a couple of Valium.. I woke up about 3 hours later in distress and self harmed as well as taking 4 more Valium, then 2 more a short while later and went walking around the bush tracks near my house in the dark for a few hours. Self harm is the act of a crazy woman I know, but it temporarily replaces mental pain with physical pain and I needed to do it. Coming home at dawn.
I have decided that I will tell my children everything from now on and that I will not protect him anymore and let everyone think that I am the bad guy. After talking with him tonight I rethink my decision to try again. It is finished. I do love him but I know it will never be the same again if we reunite and as he believes he can not change and will continue acting the way he always has.... so be it. He keeps saying you have made up your mind to leave but I was still vascillating until now.

Bye for now.

G'day,
Just letting my blog friends know. I am leaving my husband. Therefore I will not have access to a computer until? This and you are one of the things I am going to miss the most. Thank you all for your friendship and support.
Bye for now.
Love Linda.

Roos.

G'Day,
I should be in bed, I was until a while ago. I am upset and angry about something/someone so I got back up and came in here to the puter.
I made a post this morning and since I got a few comments on it I thought I would go back to it and talk a bit more about what I know about Kangaroos. We call 'em Roos for short.
Kangaroos are very cute and soft. Their fur feels wonderful and if you sniff your fingers after patting one of them they smell a bit like milky coffee. That is what the smell reminds me of anyway.
There are quite a few different types, the main ones being the eastern greys and red kangaroos. The common, and might I also add prolific, Roos found in this area and most of the eastern area of Australia are the eastern greys. The eastern greys have slightly longer and less dense fur that the reds, then there is the colour difference. Some others are the western Euro,a very tough customer, but shy, and able to live for long periods without a drink in the desert, and from the tropical area of Queensland and new Guinea, the Tree Kangaroo. We even have a tiny related kangaroo who lives in the desert called a kangaroo rat. Then there is the cute Bilby, he is related too, from Western Australia. We have tried to replace the easter bunny with the Bilby, (they are about the same size) because rabbits are very unpopular here and are very destructive feral animals. Maybe my husband is a rabbit. There are also smaller kangaroo type critters known a wallabies. There are lots of different types of these smaller versions of Roo and some of these are very rare and endangered. God...this isn't going very well it sounds like a fourth class school project that some kid just made up doesn't it. O.K.I will try harder. My husband is an arsehole. An ongoing annoyance that is bugging me at the moment. Insensitive plick. That is all I am telling you about it at the moment!
Kangaroos can be aggressive and are well equipped to protect themselves by several means.
If threatened by Dingos and they can't out run them, ( dingos are australia's version of the native dog), or by hunting dogs they are quite capable of fighting with the dogs and killing them by either disemboweling them or by drowning them. To disembowel them they hold on to them with their front paws and rest back to balance against their strong tails then kick forwards gouging at the dogs stomach with their strong back legs and big back claws. They can do this to humans too. When I was a teenager I remember being at a park one day and feeding a group of Roos when a large male became very competitive over the food and got aggressive with me and tried to kick me like that. I turned side ways and got a bit of bruising on my thigh but was otherwise unhurt. Now I know the signs to watch out for and if a big Roo starts to look aggressive I know to get out of the way and keep my distance. Those warning signs they put up "Don't feed the animals" are there for a reason and not just for the animals protection ( eating or depending on human food is not good for them), for your protection too. We were allowed to be feeding those ones at the park though, they even sold us the proper pelleted food. They sort of stand up and lean back and eye you off and then stretch up to their full height and puff their chest out at you. Then you move it quick, back off or pay the price.
The other way a scared or angry Roo might defend itself is to jump into a dam or creek. When it is followed or attacked it grabs its attacker with its front paws again and holds it under the water until it drowns. Many a hunting dog has found its end by this method. If a female kangaroo has a baby in its pouch it will throw out the baby into some bushes or behind a rock to hide it and keep running ahead of its attackers. This has the double effect of getting the baby out of harms way and secondly giving the mother being pursued a better chance of escape as it has less weight to carry and is able to go faster. She will come back for her baby joey after things settle down.
There is an excellent series about Kangaroos on DVD at ABC shops called "Faces in the Mob". I think it was filmed in Kosciusko national park or somewhere like that. Anyway, it shows the lives and relationships of a mob of Kangaroos. I was surprised to learn from it that Kangaroos have quite a well developed and complicated social structure amongst the mob. With a social hierarchy and fighting going on between males for leadership, and therefore over who gets to breed with the females. Males even kill off the joeys sired by the last leader, so the females come into season again and can breed with the new leader.
Baby Kangaroos are tiny and mostly undeveloped at birth. They look like and are about the size of a naked baked bean and after birth must find their way through the mothers fur and into her pouch where they attach themselves to a teat and finish their development. Mummy Roos can be permanently pregnant with one joey in her pouch and more fertile unborn babies waiting for their turn, kept in suspended animation.They can also delay the birth of their joeys until they get a favourable season with lots of feed and enough water before they allow the joey's development to continue.Pretty smart eh! They are very successful breeders. Probably better at predicting the coming season than your long range weather forecaster too.They usually have one baby at a time, although twins are not unheard of I think they are pretty rare.
You can also get albino kangaroos. They are very beautiful and have red eyes, I have seen a few in parks but they don't survive in the wild as they have no camoflague protection I guess.
There are lots of Kangaroos around Canberra. Lots dead on the side of the roads. They are very dangerous on the roads and are startled when in headlights and are likely to jump in front of you in any direction. If they break the windscreen when you hit them they have been known to get inside the car with you still driving, kicking and panicking, not good! No understanding of traffic or road sense. I had one hopping along in front of my car one day, down the middle of the road near Gundagai and I even though I slowed down and missed hitting it, it had taken fright and was doing over 30kph, it was not a big animal either, so the big ones would probably be able to go faster. I don't know what speed they can get up to.
When the Junee fires were on, they found lots of Roos trapped and overtaken by the fire in the corners of paddocks, piled high, burned to death. Horrible. There were lots left burned and injured that had to be shot and euthanized too, then many others starved because there was no feed for them in the burnt areas, which covered a huge area. I guess that the fires in Victoria would have had the same effect on the wild life there. The Victorian fires have been much larger and faster travelling than the Junee fires I talk about.
Kangaroos, like all animals I guess, have been exploited for what they can be used by from humans. They have been slaughtered for sport, for fur, by farmers who see them as a threat to their pastures and competing for fodder that their livestock need, even though they are reported as eating a different part of the grass to what the livestock eat. By the media as poor old Skippy in the children's T.V. show. Now kangaroo meat has become fashionable and is available in trendy restaurants and even in supermarkets. It is supposed to be low cholesterol and healthy. But I don't think I could come at that. Eating the Australian coat of arms does not appeal to me. I don't think I have ever tried it and have no compulsion to. Well.. um... one day at a restaurant I tried a dish that included Emu bacon in it, but that is another story, it was very nice . Emus are the other half of the Aussie coat of arms.
Anyway back to Skippy. I am sure everyone has seen or heard of Skippy the bush Kangaroo, it was a show that lots of my age group grew up watching. It is made fun of by comedians nowadays, because it was bloody ridiculous, but we lapped it up and believed in it. I even had a girlie childhood crush on many of its actors. It did have some conservation value in its day though I suppose. When I was in my teens and living in Sydney we went on a bus trip for a school excursion to Kurringai national park where it was filmed.We had a look at the film set and different animals that were there on display etc. In one tiny cage in the middle of the yard was the animal that they said was Skippy. She was in a tiny tiny cage that she was barely able to turn around in and she was absolutely miserable, no shade, no water, no food. This poor bloody little kangaroo exposed to the poking fingers and oohs and ahhs of a bus full of school kids unable to move away. It was so horrible. By the way do you remember the noise that Skippy used to make on the show, supposedly to communicate with the actors. A clicking tsk tsk tsk noise. That is the noise a kangaroo makes when it is in distress. The Skippy in the cage was doing that. I will never forget that poor thing.
It is now 2.00 I really should try to go to bed and sleep but I know I won't be able to. I am sure my dear husband is sleeping gleefully with no troubles on his mind. He was always good at that. After all he has to work tomorrow, why should he loose any sleep? Ah I am being a nasty, neurotic, brat tonight. It would be o.k if he was the only one who had to go to work tomorrow...but he isn't.
Right.
Bye
Love Linda.

G'Day,
This morning I have been pottering around the house and yard. While I was out the back splashing some water around my plants I had a visit from a young Magpie. The other day the same little visitor came up to me warbling and looking straight at me so I reckoned he knew just what he was doing. He / she has learned to sing for his supper. If you charm those humans you know they will give you some easy food you know, you know.... He came right up to about 4 feet away from me and sat there looking straight at me warbling, cheeky little bloke, anyway it worked and he got a feed of crumbled bread and seed mixed through it. On the same morning the trees at the back of the house were filled with a dozen or more pied currawongs singing and calling to each other who must have been watching baby Maggie's antics and decided to come down and compete for the bread scraps I had put out, so my back yard was full of birds having a lovely time. I wonder if baby Maggie is one of the same little blokes that used to visit out the front and wait at the door for bread with his sibling and mother. Probably is. He most likely does the rounds of the neighbourhood getting food off all the humans. Mum trained him well didn't she. This little guy is definitely a survivor. Autumn must be a hungry time of year because the birds have been less numerous since spring last year and now there are heaps of visitors again.
I have also had visits regularly from female satin bower birds, I looked them up and found out what they were, I have not seen any males though, they are definitely more recognizable. The male bird is a beautiful glossy midnight blue, the female is olive and grey, brown with outlined feathers, both the male and female birds have startlingly bright blue eyes. I have not seen any males around but they must be there. During the week when I sit out at the back table to read the newspaper in the mornings I have seen 3 females in the yard. Satin bower birds are pretty spectacular. They are known for their strange mating habits and rituals. The male birds build large bowers on the ground out of grass and what ever else suits their fancy then the decorate the bower with blue things that they find to try to attract the best females to mate with. They dance and carry on as part of the mating ritual then the female builds her nest in a tree nearby and brings up her offspring. I put a blue plastic milk bottle top out the back a few days ago to see if they would take it, it is gone this morning. The female birds have eaten the fruit off the chilli plant I had on the back table and also the big succulent leaves off another plant. Hot stuff.
Baby galahs have been hanging aroud cheeky's cage this morning trying to get inside to eat his seed. The one I was watching this morning was very young and still has his dusky grey colouring and was not scared of humans yet, it waddled up to within just a few feet away from me. It was a little male, one was there yesterday which was a baby female. I put some seed around the cage for them and they came back to eat it as soon as I walked back to within what they must have felt was a safe distance for them.
I am also visited by lots of Galahs, some eastern rosellas, king parrots, crimson rosellas, top knot pigeons, pee wees, sparrows and other similar sized birds whose names I do not know, finches, wrens, sulphur crested cockatoos, grey butcher birds,wattle birds, and those unwelcome ferals, indian mynor birds. I love Canberra wild life.
There was a story in the newspaper yesterday that would be funny if it was not so scary. A panicked 2 meter kangaroo crashed through someones bedroom window and injured itself on Sunday morning early. The people were in bed at the time and did not know what had happened to them. It jumped on their bed and through the house into their little boys room leaving a trail of blood every where. The husband grabbed it in a head lock and wrestled it out of the house. So in today's paper there is a story about kangaroos in urban areas being a danger etc etc. There are thousands of them in Canberra. The suburbs are planned with bush areas and wildlife corridors all between then. It was bound to happen eventually I guess, excuse the pun, he he. They belong here.
The roos are quite a nuisance and very dangerous on the roads, especially at dusk and dawn when they are moving about feeding, you see dozens of them slaughtered beside the roads all the time from motor vehicle accidents.
Rufus, our Jack Russell dog has been barking and has been scared a few nights lately. When my son went out the other night he found a big possum in the back yard, so that must have been what was scaring him.
It is funny but the things I love about living in Canberra and give it some of its charm for me, are also the things that upset me. I guess that is the price we and the wild life pay for living together. We pay the price to repair our propery and cars, tehy pay the price with their lives and loss of habitat. It is worse for them. I would rather put up with a few problems than not have them live here amongst us though.
The diet I mentioned the other day has made me feel better. I am not being strict with it, as is usually my style, to my own detriment, but I have lost about 5 kg over the last month or so, so that is a bonus. Though I guess some of that should be attributed to my increased workload and the fact that I am not home at night to nibble because I am still working. I did not attempt the diet to loose weight but to try to feel a bit better and banish the latest annoying bout of thrush that I have been plagued with, that part of it has been successful, especially since the over the counter chemists medicines did not work on it.
That's all. Gotta go and do some more house work before I go to work this afternoon.
Bye
Love Linda.

Sunday Scribblings, "Listen up! This is important."

G'Day,
The Sunday Scribblings prompt for this week is "Listen up! This is important"
I had a look at the prompt last night and thought about it and this morning it came to me.
Dad must have been around watching me somewhere because I thought of one of his sayings.
"Remember all the P's."
Dad had quite a few different little sayings he would use as prompts for us girls, but this one could be applied to many many different situations no matter what was going on. Good advice too. Isn't it funny that the things our parents teach us stay with us through out our lives so strongly?
All The P's.

Prior

Preparation

and

Planning

Prevents

Piss

Poor

Performance.

I always liked that one.
I also have one saying of my own that I think of very often when going about my every day stuff.
Remember the "Kiss" principle.
Stands for "Keep It Simple Stupid"
I truly believe in this one.

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This week has been very normal, and I am lovin' it.
Mum has gone up to my sister's place for a while. It is my niece Tato's 19th birthday so she has gone for a visit. My house is so normal! I even get to go to the shop without her, and it does not take me 1 1/2 hours to do it and about the same time waiting for her to get ready to go there. Wonderful! Pete got a phone call earlier this week, while I was at work, to say she has had a fall and cut her hand which had to be stitched, I am so glad she didn't break anything as she has osteoporosis. Seems like almost every time she goes up there something happens to her. She is o.k. though, I just hope it does not get infection in it.
I did a bit of research on the net during the week about the effects of too much acid in the body as I was having some problems, so now I have imposed an alkaline balance diet to try to set things straight. It seems to be working and I feel much better, physically and mentally. I have even lost some weight so it is easier to get my work done. Amazingly it only took 3 days for the effects to show on me. Pete is trying it out too, though he is usually pretty physically fit due to having to be that way for his job. We tested him too and he was about the same level of acidity as me but that has balanced out quite nicely. The info says that we should aim for a diet that is 70 percent alkaline or alkaline producing foods and 30 percent acid type foods. Also our urine should have a PH reading of between 6.5 and 7.5. I don't usually go in for experimenting with diets and am wary of fads because I think they do more harm than good, but as I was having the acid trouble I thought that I would give it a try.
Other than that, my life at the moment consists of the work, home, sleep, cycle to earn money to pay the bills. The electricity, phone, water, rent, food and a hopefully a little bit of entertainment treadmill, that keeps us all going round in circles, biting our own bums. He he.
This weekend in Canberra is a long weekend to celebrate Canberra day, which is on Monday. Canberra is 96 years old this year. Happy Birthday Canberra! Love Ya! There is a concert and celebrations on in the park on Monday that I would like to go to, freebies of course. I still have to clean the Queanbeyan schools on monday though, because it is over the border in N.S.W. so not having the holiday we get in this state. I will be able to play around with the starting time as we don't have to do the Canberra schools. The skin on my hands is dry and peeling and disgusting at the moment as a result of chemicals and also I suspect, a result of wearing rubber and plastic gloves to work in. I will have to action that.
That is about all this post.
Good morning peoples.
Love Linda.