Just an update. I spent the afternoon in Canberra hospital after taking an overdose of Valium. I think I had about 10 or 12, not sure. The night before I took just two but the night before that I took eight. I didn't intend to suicide I just wanted to bomb myself out. Just after I took the tablets I got a phone call from one of my old workmates in Junee and told her what I had done and she talked to the sisters at the hospital there and Peter called an ambulance and I had to go in there. They said that the dose would not have been fatal but I needed help because I had taken it and also because of the self harming. Anyway, the Dr there took the rest of the tablets away and after checking everything sent me back home. My friends Linda and Sharon are coming to get me and take me back home to Junee. They should be here in an hour or so. I said I wanted to go home with them, Sharon will drive my car back there for me and I will be staying at Linda's house, probably for a few days. Then I might go to Wagga and stay in my Mums old house with my son David. They said that they are crying out for staff at Junee hospital at present so I will probably get a job similar to what I had there before. I know I am a good worker and have a good reputation with them there. But I also know that the wheels of bureaucracy turn very slowly with them where employment is concerned, so I will see what happens. Michael will stay on in Canberra, my suggestion, because I know that if he returns to Wagga or Junee again it will kill him and we will be back to square one with his depression and anxiety. I have spoken to Brett our boss here and Michael still has a job with him even though things will have to be adjusted somewhat. He has to get his drivers licence now, promising to go on monday morning.
Peter and I tried to talk in the early hours of this morning and he said that he loves me but he loves Sharon. Well for me it is 100 percent or nothing. If he can't give me that then I want nothing else. As well as that, after what has happened between us I know I will never be able to feel the same way again about him or trust him. I love him so much and I have never loved anyone else. But that is it for us.
It is my friend Leonies 50th birthday party on saturday night, I had accepted the invite but them cancelled it, I don't know if I can stand it at the monent.